Testing, Reducing And Controling Social Axiety.

  

People with social anxiety disorder tend to have negative thoughts about themselves and about what will happen in social situations.
For examples:

• No one will like me
• I'm going to say something stupid.
• I'll do something foolish and other people will laugh.
• I won't know what to say.
• I'm not as smart/attractive as other people.
• No one will talk to me.
• I'll get anxious and others will notice.
• Others will think I'm boring.
• I'll make a mistake and others will think I'm stupid.

    If you believe that social situations are threatening or dangerous, then you are more likely to feel anxious. However, it is important to realize that your thoughts are guesses about what will happen, not actual facts. People will social anxiety disorder tend to over estimate the degree of danger in social situations. Therefore, developing more realistic ways of thinking is an important step in managing your anxiety. But before you can start changing the way you think, you need to be able to identify the kinds of thoughts you have in social situations.

How To Do It?

    First, ask yourself what you are afraid will happen in social situations. You might be afraid of something that you might do for example "I'll embarrass myself by saying something stupid." , "I'll have nothing to say." , "I'll blush", etc or something that other people might think for example they will not like me, they will notice I'm anxious and think I'm weird, etc. To become more aware of your specific fears, try and identify your thoughts whenever you feel anxious or feel an urge to avoid or escape a situation. If it's difficult to write down your thoughts while you're in the situation, they try and write down just before you enter the situation, or immediately after you leave. Repeat this exercise for a week or so.

    The next step involves learning to evaluate your negative thoughts. Remember your thoughts are guesses about what will happen, not actual facts. It can be helpful to ask yourself whether your thoughts are based on facts and whether they are helpful. If they aren't, try and identify more accurate and helpful thoughts.

Here are some questions to help you examine your thoughts:

• Am I 100% sure that________ will happen?
• How many times has_________ actually happened?
• What is the evidence that supports my thoughts?
• What is the evidence that doesn't support my thoughts?
• Is_________ really so important that my whole future depends on it?
• Does anyone's opinion reflect everyone else is?
• Am I responsible for the entire conversation?
• What is the worst that could happen?
• What is another way of looking at this situation?
• What would I say to my best friend if he/she was having this thought?

    By evaluating your negative thinking, you may realize that some of the things you fear are very unlikely to actually happen, or that if something does happen it's not as bad as you may think and that you can cope. Practice evaluating your anxious thoughts by first writing them down and then try to identify more realistic ways of thinking.

Test It Out!

    Sometimes it can be helpful to examine the truthfulness of your thoughts or beliefs. For example, how bad would it be if other saw you blush/shake, or how terrible would it be if you said something foolish? We often assume that it would be horrible if these things happened, and that we would be unable to cope. However, we need to test this out. Purposely try to shake, and see how others react. Plan to say something foolish or ask an obvious question and see what happens. Be careful not to assume that others are reacting negatively. Look at the facts. What did they do or say? Was it as bad as you thought?

Examples Of Experiments Include:

• Ask a silly questions for example ask for directions to a street you are already on
• Let your hand shake while holding a glass of water
• Spill a drink
• Drop something or knock something over
• Wear your shirt inside out
• Send an email with spelling mistakes
• Mispronounce a word
• Pretend to lose your train of thought and stop mid sentence

Facing Fears

    It's normal to want to avoid situations that cause you anxiety. Avoiding feared social situations is a very effective strategy because if reduces anxiety in the short term. However, avoiding social situations increases your fear in the long term because it prevents you from learning that your feared expectations are either unlikely to  actually happen or aren't as bad as you think. Therefore, an important step in managing your social anxiety is to face the situations that you have been avoiding because of social fears. Repeatedly facing those situations reduces distress in the long term and help build up confidence.